The Storm Outside, the Storm Inside

Velarion Light Journal Entry 5

During the time I was in the hospital, life didn’t pause for me. It didn’t soften. It didn’t give me space to heal.

If anything, everything around me erupted into chaos.

While I was struggling to breathe and trying to stay alive, my kids’ dad got hired by a new company — and suddenly, we had to relocate two hours away. No warning. No time to plan. No space to process.

At the same time, we had a whole world of animals depending on us.
Not a couple — an entire farm:

• chickens

• turkeys

• pheasants

• mini pigs

• horses

• dogs

Animals we raised and cared for… all needing new homes instantly, because I couldn’t manage anything from a hospital bed, and we couldn’t take them with us. It was heartbreaking. It felt like I was watching a life I had built crumble piece by piece while my own body fought to stay alive.

Then a hailstorm hit — out of nowhere — and ripped apart the roof, the window frames, even the roof of our modular home.
Everything shredded.
Everything exposed.
Everything falling apart at the exact moment I had the least strength to handle it.

It was like the external world was mirroring my internal one:

a home damaged, a body breaking down, a life being torn open so something new could be born.

Looking back, I can see how violently the old timeline was collapsing.
I wasn’t just losing my health — I was losing the entire version of my life I had built around survival, caretaking, and holding everything together by myself.
All at once, everything I had outgrown was being stripped away:

The home.
The animals.
The town.
The version of me that never asked for help.
The version of me that thought she had to be invincible.
The version of me that believed her suffering was normal.

It was traumatic.
It was overwhelming.
But it was also a clearing — a forced release.

Life, God, Source, the Silent Root… whatever name you give it — made sure that old structure could not follow me into the next chapter.

Everything cracked open so I could finally rebuild as the woman I was meant to become.

-Cassia